Seven Suggestions for Spouses
It's no secret that when a married couple has kids, soon their world revolves around the kids, and the relationship they once had starts to deteriorate. Less and less time is spent focusing on the person that helped you become a family in the first place. Below are seven suggestions that may keep you and your spouse from becoming strangers.
- Be nice to each other - This was one of the very first pieces of relationship advice that my wife and I received. I thought the person was joking... isn't this a given? However, I now realize that this was great advice. It's so simple, yet so many couples have a hard time being nice. If you truly care, and are genuinely nice to each other, the other stuff seems to fall into place.
- Turn off the Television - When the kids go to bed, it's too easy to flip on the tube and veg out. After all, the kids wear me out and I deserve some mindless entertainment.
- Gang up on kids - Few things can be as rewarding as teaming up and putting the little whippersnappers in their place. As the children lay on the floor peeing their pants, you and your spouse feel a sense of accomplishment having just completed the perfect tickle torture.
- Observe - Watch your spouse (but not in a creepy way), you never know, you may find out something you didn't know.
- Quit living separate lives - Another easy trap to fall into is to be like ships passing in the night. You hand the kids off to mom so she can take them to soccer practice, then you go catch up with your friends at the bar. Next you go pick the kids up from soccer so that mom can have a ladies night. Before long the only time you see your spouse is in between running kids places.
- Go on a date - This one is pretty self explanatory, and probably how you ended up with kids in the first place. Do you remember what a date is like?
- Think about your spouse - Don't get so caught up in your routine that you don't take a few minutes out of your day to think about your spouse.
I'm no relationship guru, but I do recognize that your relationship with your spouse is either blooming, or wilting.
photo courtesy of francescominciotti
In the same vein as the TV, lose the laptop and iphones/crackberries. We catch ourselves far too often on the same couch with our faces buried in those stupid things.
Yeah, I think we need to ban FarmVille and bejeweled blitz in our house.... Way to much of a time suck.
Great tips,
I learned first hand that you need to put in a little more effort once there is a baby in the picture. The wife and I now make time to just hang out together, watch a movie, or better yet.... sleep!
It's kind of an odd feeling having to put effort into something that just sort of happened pre-kids.
The living separate lives one is always the nail in the coffin. When that starts happening you might as well just give up. I haven't been on a date in years. I might need to arrange that :-)
I need to go on a date too... one where we don't just talk about the kids!
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