Children are dirty. This is not a new discovery, just one I wish I had the solution to. Granted, you could give the child a bath, but that involves moderate effort on the part of the parent. So what to do? How can a parent clean a child with the least amount of effort?
The Smiley Kids once said: Turn your frown upside down, Make your lips go round and round.
How do you turn your child's mood from sour to sunny so that they are ready to move past the negativity? One of the most effective ways I have found is with what I like to call 'The Art Of Misdirection' (from now on referred to as TAOM). I'm sure you've all done it before, and grandparents seem to be especially good at TAOM.
Don't be afraid to dance like a little white girl, after all they have all the best moves. In our house there are a few signature moves. The first one starts out innocent enough, looking like an over aggressive air guitar player imitating a Pete Townshend windmill, and ends looking more like a sputtering prop plane that has lost one of its propellers. Then there are the intricate vogue-like hand movements, coupled with eyes darting back and forth.
Have you seen this baby?
She is on the loose roaming the streets with Plagiocephaly. Do not approach, she is considered to have arms and be dangerous! She is a white female with a flat, misshapen head, piercing blue eyes, and a smile that melts hearts (which cannot be seen in the mug shot).
There is a monster that prowls around your house, waiting to rear its ugly head. This monster is hungry. What will you choose to feed it? Keep one thing in mind, the monster thrives on negative energy, and with each bit of positive energy that it consumes, it grows weaker.
A few final thoughts… I want my children to love me for me, and not what I buy for them. One of the most important things that I believe is crucial to parenting is teaching my children to respect others, and always be polite. Letting my children walk all over someone is not an option.
As a programmer by trade, I often have to solve logic and mathematical problems. Since kids are pretty rational, logical beings, I figure this type of thinking transfers over. Therefore, I've come up with something I like to call the 'Discipline Wave.' On a side note, don't even think of stealing the term or my lawyers will contact you and make you help pay my kids college tuition… or not, but if I were you I wouldn't want to find out.
It's with some reservation that I mention that the "bad" days aren't always because of my girls. Occasionally there are days where I am in the worst mood, and for whatever reason every little thing irritates me. Usually those are the worst days because you know what they say, when mom's not happy, nobody's happy.
The three year old recently received a shiny, pink, brand new princess bike. As she was pedaling around a short walking path by our house, a thought occurred to me. As parents, we try to put our kids in little plastic bubbles and eliminate anything harmful that could happen. We buy bikes with training wheels, put bumper pads on cribs, and guards on toddler beds to keep the kids from rolling out.
Bedtime started of pretty well. The three year old put her jammies on without resistance, brushed her teeth and actually didn't swallow all the toothpaste, then hopped right into bed. We read a story and then she curled up under her covers. She looked ready for a night of sleep to overcome her. Or so I thought.