April 2009
Seems like all the hip kids are into mashups (for those old fogies out there reading, it's the combining of 2 things), whether it be google maps plus the swine flu, or Jay-Z and The Beatles. I am convinced that the three year old is in love with a new type of mashup... a linguistic mashup. She says some crazy stuff that could only make sense if she's combining things heard over time. Unfortunately for us, the parents, these things usually tend to be dirty. The next two examples will show exactly how great a mashup artist she is, or how terrible a parent I am… I haven't decided yet.
Example #1From time to time my wife likes to be gangsta, and as she leaves she'll shout "peace out homies" and flash some signs. Couple my wife's inner thug with the fact that I've slipped up and said the word "homo" around the three year old, and you can begin to picture what the disastrous results could be.
My wife had a ladies night at our house. The women sat around doing womanly stuff like having pillow fights, playing truth or dare, and talking about boys. You can imagine that with all the excitement the three year old didn't want to go to sleep. Well… eventually the night came to a close, and it was time to wish everyone a fond farewell. My wife, trying to make the three year old into a mini thug, told her to tell the ladies "peace out homies." However, what came out of my daughters' mouth was something entirely different. Trying to be as cordial as possible, she wished everyone goodnight by telling them "peace out homos."
DISCLAIMER: Although my family doesn't agree with the lifestyle, we do not hate homosexuals. That said, if you feel the need to send hate mail, please at least subscribe to blog. That way you can keep tabs on me and make sure this kind of language never occurs again on this site.
Example #2It's no secret that kids love exploring their bodies. Every day is a new adventure. For the little one, this means toes to chew on, ears to pull, and thumbs to suck. But then they grow and all of the sudden there's a belly button to play with, boogers to pick, and nipples to poke. This mashup comes from some explanation of anatomy, as well as family dinner.
For the longest time, my daughter thought that nipples were moles. After dancing around the issue for a while, I figured there was no delicate way to explain what the "moles" really were. Eventually I just told her that those were definitely not moles, and were in fact nipples. Then, as with any toddler, there are days when the three year old just doesn't want to eat her supper. She is told something to the effect of, "eat all your dinner up, or no desert." I don't think I even have to write what came next, but I will.
My wife and I were sitting around one night when my daughter approached. What she said next was disturbing on so many levels… she said "eat my nipples up." I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or cry. All we could do was sit there in shock wondering where her mind comes up with this stuff!
Is your child a linguistic mashup artist? I'd love to hear about it in the comments. Also, I would like to thank dad-blogs.com for not only bringing dad bloggers together, but starting fatherhood friday- 13 comments |
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photo courtesy of ilovemypit
The three year old loves video games, and I'm proud of it. I've often been told by popular media that video games are the root of all evil, and that they turn your kids into a pile of gelatinous goo, but I disagree. Video games have a great number of redeeming qualities, even for someone as young as three years old. Kids are able to develop more finely tuned motor skills, hone problem solving and observational skills, plus develop a sense of accomplishment.
Motor Skills
When I purchased a shiny new DS Lite a little over a year ago, my wife inherited the trusty old DS Fat. Shortly after this, my daughter became obsessed with PictoChat. For those of you who don't play Nintendo DS, this is a chat program that also allows the user to send drawings, hence the name PictoChat. As a result of the three year old spending time 'playing' with PictoChat, her fine motor skills have improved. On the DS, she is able to practice writing letters, drawing pictures, and navigating the various menus (which alone requires a fair amount of dexterity).
The three year old also enjoys Wii Tennis. She is to the point where she can choose her Mii and start the game, all while navigating via the wiimote. It takes a pretty steady hand, and a bit of patience to accomplish such a task. The Wii has helped push both her patience and control in the right direction.
My daughter has a kiddie laptop that teaches the alphabet, and has a few simple games. One of those games is a maze type game where you are a mouse, and have to locate the cheese in the center of the maze. The game starts out with a very easy maze, and with each completion comes a harder maze. In the beginning, she was unable to complete even the most simple maze without some assistance. However now, she is able to navigate even the hardest of puzzles with ease, knows left from right (when she actually takes her time and thinks about it), and is very proud of herself for learning how to complete the maze.
AccomplishmentNothing makes a geek dad like me more proud than when the three year old figures out how to do something with technology. She seems genuinely proud of herself, and that makes me happy… like the first time she legitimately won a game of Wii Tennis, completed the difficult maze all by herself, or built a PC from scratch so she could play some Dora the Explorer game. Well... building her own PC hasn't happened yet, but maybe by the time she's four.
Have your kids been impacted by video games?- 2 comments |
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photo courtesy of maryhodder
This story doesn't start at the beginning, but I can't think of a more appropriate way to start.
It was a day much like this one in the not too distant past. The kids were loaded into the car, and life was good. We were headed down the highway to a friend's house as we had done many times before. But this time was different. My wife and I had no idea what was in store for us only hours later.
Our friends had been in the process of remodeling their new home, and upon arrival, the signs of work were still visible… a few boards here and there, maybe a drill sitting on the counter, and a few other things. None of this was out of the ordinary, and we were just glad to be among friends enjoying good fellowship and food. The kids were behaving as usual, the little one was continuing the typical infant cycle of eating, cooing, crying, and repeating, and the three year old was settling down with her plate of munchies.
Then the wheels of fate started turning. Our gracious host had decided to try his hand at making a buffalo chicken bean dip of some sort, which turned out very good. The three year old chose to partake in some of the dip, which may have been the straw that broke the camel's back.
After finishing her plate, she proceeded to wander around the house, probably looking for the cat, or hunting a ghost, which normally is no cause for alarm. However this time was different. She was too quiet for too long. If my fatherly instincts wouldn't have kicked in, I have no doubt that things could have been much worse.What I failed to mention earlier was that one of the rooms under renovation was a bathroom. The toilet had been pulled out, and was now in the front room of the house. By the time I got to it, there was now something on the toilet… the three year old, pants around her ankles, doing exactly what she was told to do, poop on the potty. I quickly tried to explain that while she was doing a good thing, the choice of location was just a little off. This was met with much resistance, because she saw nothing wrong. She had to drop a load, found a toilet, and proceeded to do so. What was the big deal?
I took the only action possible at that point. I picked her up, pants still around her feet, and rushed to the nearest toilet that was in a working bathroom.
So what happened? Which potty did she poop in? Check back next monday, or you can speculate in the comments and I may let you know early.
What is the funniest or oddest thing your kid has done while potty training?- 2 comments |
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photo courtesy of pbo31
It's true what Johnson and Johnson says, having a baby does change everything. Like it or not, kids force you to make lifestyle changes. Perhaps you've had to sacrifice and downsize. You're no longer able to maintain the standard of living you're used to, and it's either make a change or face years of debt. Maybe you've had to upgrade and move out of a that small apartment with the neighbors who party and make noise until the wee hours. Even if the previous scenarios don't ring true for you, I'm sure you've had to make many sacrifices as a parent. Here is a list of ten things that I've sacrificed for my kids:
- An income - but at least I got a promotion soon after my wife quit her job!
- A car – I've heard it's hard to get kids in and out of a 2 door… I'm still skeptical.
- Swearing – this may come as a shock to those who know me best, but it's true, even I let the occasional expletive fly.
- Friends – this one's a bit painful to write, but true nonetheless. Gone are the days of heading out for coffee at night on a moment's notice, or playing video games till the crack of dawn.
- Masculinity (but just for brief periods of time) – if the three year old wants to play stickers before going to the store, and I spend an hour out and about with some pretty yellow fairy stickers on my shirt so be it.
- Romance – it's much harder to be romantic when come 8:30 the parents are ready to crash too. That and the fact that I used up all my moves trying to get the girl, so now that I have her, I don't have to be romantic anymore, right?
- Dignity – this one flew out the window the first time the three year old congratulated me for pooping on the potty like a 'big girl' and rewarded me with a jelly bean.
- Toys – as a geek, I really like gadgets, but these days my gadgets consist of things like a laptop that teaches you the alphabet and a Vtech Whiz Kid learning system.
- Selfishness – although this is a daily battle, my kids always have a way of reminding me that it's not always about me. Who cares if it was a bad day at work, when there are games to be played, cowgirls that need horsey rides, and shirts to spit up on.
- Hygiene – there is always something gross that needs picked, wiped, or otherwise removed from a toddler at a time when you don't have the appropriate tools for the job (Kleenex and hand sanitizer).
What have you sacrificed for your kids?
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photo courtesy of jasoneppink
By definition SIDS is a sudden, unexplained death of a child less than one year old. So if the cause is unknown, why such the strong push to have children sleep on their backs? Statistics show that since the massive 'back to sleep' effort has started SIDS deaths are down, but I also am aware that statistics can be misleading. One of my college roommates even had a class on how to make statistics lie.
I think that placing a child on his or her back to sleep works because of the other dangers that it mitigates, not necessarily just because the child is on their back. Even though I know statistics can be misleading, as stated earlier, I would be very interested in seeing the numbers on other factors such as smoking, mattress firmness, room temperature, and mattress pad thickness. I would hazard a guess that there would be a correlation between the additional factors and the occurrence of SIDS… apart from the child simply being on his or her stomach. All of these factors are listed in the NISP survey, but I can't seem to find the numbers. Maybe I just suck at google.
Since my wife and I have eliminated the other risk factors, we have no problem letting the little one sleep on her stomach. However, I know I am biased because of my experience with the three year old, and having to fit her with a DOC band (watch for some posts on DOC bands!) to correct the shape of her head, so please, make sure to carefully do your own research and don't just take my word for it. You have to do what you think is right. I'm just some dude with a blog and an opinion, not a doctor.
Resources:Mayo Clinic
American SIDS Institute
CDC
National Infant Sleep Position
National Institute of Child Health and Human Development
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photo courtesy of freeparking
I had the pleasure of watching the girls about two thirds of the weekend, and it reaffirmed something to me. Women are wired differently. It had been quite a while since I had both girls for more than a few hours, and I knew I was in for a treat. That treat started out like a brownie full of chocolaty goodness, washed down by a tall glass of milk. The three year old played wonderfully, and didn't pitch a fit when it was time to go to bed. The little one drank her bottle, wiggled herself into a comfy spot in her crib, and fell asleep. What I didn't realize was that the delicious 'brownie' that I ate the night before was actually full of laxatives, and everything was about to start spilling out. The little one woke up earlier than normal, and somehow telepathically knew that mommy wasn't in the house… which was expressed by a shriek, instead of the normal cooing and squeals of delight. Luckily her sour mood was temporarily brightened after breakfast was in her belly. I should have enjoyed those moments; because it was the happiest she would be all day. She decided to boycott, naps, hate all her toys, and cry immediately when not being held. Luckily, the neighbors kids were outside all day, so I was able to outsource entertainment for the three year old. I'm going to keep this post short and sweet, mainly because I'm wore out and reminiscing about my time (albeit very short) as a single parent leaves much to be desired. However, I wanted to get the moral of the story in at some point. I thank God that women are wired differently. My wife stays at home with our children, and I realize that I wouldn't be able to. She has way more patience, creativity when it comes to craft time, and willingness to clean poo (along with innumerable other qualities that I don't possess). I think this also applies to working moms, but that's not my life and what I know. So keep on rockin' moms! You keep our families sane.
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photo courtesy of pbo31
People close to me claim that I rarely become angry. I can say without a doubt that this observation is untrue. There are plenty of things that set me off, and for reasons unknown to me, children have a way of finding those things quickly. One thing that gets me going is whining and crying and tugging on my leg (which will henceforth be referred to as Wac-A-Toml). Fortunately my wife has finally stopped doing this when I crush her dreams of a new wardrobe. Unfortunately, the three year old is just getting started.
Recently Wac-A-Toml has been the tactic of choice. What angers me even more is that it is simply her attempt at manipulating the situation to achieve her desired outcome. If the three year old had any amount of true emotion behind her feelings, I may be a little more sympathetic, but that is not the case. How do I know there is no emotion? Well… after realizing she's been found out, the waterworks immediately stop. This is where the insanity comes in (stay with me… I promise this will might make sense soon).
As Albert Einstein once said, Insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." So is my daughter insane? Yes. I think my psychology minor gives me the expertise to say without a doubt that she is insane. There has been no precedent set for her to think that Wac-A-Toml will in fact get her what she wants. Usually the results are quite the opposite, and she ends up spending some quality time in the naughty chair. So how do I get her to stop Wac-A-Toml? At this point perseverance and consistency is the only option that comes to mind, because I have no experience treating this kind of mental illness.
However, it could be that she is really a genius, who is training me for something that I, in my limited capacity, could never comprehend.
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The first real tantrum came, followed by spanking, crying (not my own), and a sense of relief. Spanking had worked! Ah, the peace and quiet was glorious… then the next meltdown occurred. The spanking seemed slightly less effective. Unfortunately this trend continued, and very soon I began to think my child liked getting pummeled (not literally of course, I don't want the authorities knocking on my door). This couldn't continue, not only was spanking not curbing bad behavior, but it was making my arm tired (see above note).
Then the naughty chair came into play. It was very difficult breaking her will and getting her to stay in the naughty chair. Multiple nights required multiple hours to produce the desired effect, which was a child who would stay put, and acknowledge what she had done wrong. Much to my chagrin, the naughty chair had much the same result. Before I knew it, she was jumping off the chair and running amok.
So what to do? Nothing seemed to work. Luckily the combo platter seemed to do the trick. When the naughty chair and spanking were both in play, the results were much better. For minor offenses like not getting pajamas on in a timely manner, and not picking up toys, the naughty chair was just fine. Then, much like a second level help desk, if the rules of the naughty chair weren't being effective, justice would be swift, in the form of a spanking.
This approach works for my daughter, but I know all children are different. What works for your kids?
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My three year old is ruining my fun! This was going to be the first year to really gauge how our oldest daughter really handled the second reason for Easter… the Easter Bunny and eggs. Much to my dismay, when asked about the Easter Bunny, she emphatically explained that he (or she) was a fake.
Later, my wife also dropped a tidbit that I don't know how got lost in conversation over the past 4 months. Apparently when asked if she was excited about Santa bringing her presents at Christmas, once again we were corrected. Our daughter explained to my wife that mommy and daddy left those presents under the tree.
I don't know whether to be appalled or proud. I guess she can be the kid at school who ruins it for the rest by revealing the secrets behind Santa and the Easter Bunny. But in the process it also ruins the fun that my wife and I could have as we lie to our child! After all, I heard good parenting is based on lies.
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The little white granules that come out of disposable diapers suck. We used disposable diapers with our first daughter, and it seems that the thing I remember most is wiping the leftover gelatinous substance (as well as poo) from her behind. Well… that and the mounting cost of the diapers.
Mostly because of the cost, with our second child we chose to use cloth diapers. After quickly deciding my wife wasn't going to be making them out of old flannel shirts, and talking to some friends, we decided to evaluate two brands, Haute and Bum Genius. Almost as quickly, it became clear that the Bum Genius diapers were the way to go. This was because even when our dryer was on low heat, over about two months, there was noticeable wear on the Haute diaper.
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