June 2009

A few final thoughts… I want my children to love me for me, and not what I buy for them. One of the most important things that I believe is crucial to parenting is teaching my children to respect others, and always be polite. Letting my children walk all over someone is not an option.

So I've written the past three posts to say this: Do I love staying at home with my kids? Not all the time, but I wouldn't trade my time with them for anything! They are growing up right before my eyes. To miss a smile or tear, a first word or first step, would be heartbreaking. I know that I will never get these moments back.

Thanks one last time to my wife for writing these past three weeks… even if I did mangle her writing with my 'editing.'

The Discipline Wave looks very much like a sine wave, where the amplitude (think peaks and valleys) ranges from 1 to -1, and the wavelength (distance between peaks and valleys) is relatively stable. This can best be illustrated by graph 1.1 below.

As you can see, the level of discipline fluctuates over time. Starting out, kids are just learning to test their boundaries, but require a minimal amount of discipline. Then, as time goes by, the child pushes back a bit harder and soon reaches 1 full unit of discipline. However, soon the child learns the error of his or her ways, and begins to require less discipline… perhaps even to the point of volunteering to pick up toys and staying calm and collected at all times. This is the ideal, and the point on the graph where the Discipline Wave is at -1.

But, as any parent knows, eventually the Discipline Wave must swing back into the positive. The key is to maximize the time between the peaks and valleys (preferably measured in months instead of days). It's at this time that I admit I have relatively no idea how to accomplish the goal of lengthening time from peak to peak. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this blog. Instead I would be making millions of dollars teaching parents how to discipline their children.

The one thing I do know is that consistency is key. It helps to stabilize the situation, and has good medium term results. However, kids are complex little creatures, and always manage to throw another variable into the mix!

Be sure to check out other great writers at dad blogs. As always they help give me a different perspective on parenthood and help provide inspiration for my posts.

The three year old recently received a shiny, pink, brand new princess bike. As she was pedaling around a short walking path by our house, a thought occurred to me. As parents, we try to put our kids in little plastic bubbles and eliminate anything harmful that could happen. We buy bikes with training wheels, put bumper pads on cribs, and guards on toddler beds to keep the kids from rolling out. Some of us even buy protective liners for shopping carts to isolate our children from any filth a previous child may have left behind.

What about parents? Where are my training wheels? The first time I realized that my wife and I were going to have to figure this whole parenting thing out was when we were still in the hospital with our first daughter. The nurse wheeled her in, all snuggled up in a blanket, and sleeping in what looked like a Tupperware container. Then the nurse left… but she didn't take the baby back and take care of her for us (which I thought was rude).

The good news was that our training wheels were only a phone call away. While still in the hospital, we could just call the nurse. More importantly, after we arrived at home, family and friends were more than willing to pitch in. People brought us meals for a week or so to spare my wife of my cooking (which usually consists of only two things, frozen pizza and mac and cheese). Plus, when liquid started shooting out of what seemed like every hole the baby had, my mom was willing to talk about vomit at length.

However, sometimes the training wheels come off before you're ready (or at least before you think you're ready). In our case, I changed jobs and we moved. We had to learn to keep our balance for a little while, but before we knew it, we began to realize that wherever you go, there are people willing to step in and lend a hand to keep you steady.

I want to say thank you to all the people who over the past few years have been our training wheels (even though I think only a few read this blog). They say hindsight is 20/20, and I've realized that we've had more help than I've realized.

By popular demand (or at the request of my husband) I will be writing today's post. I have been racking my brain the last few days on what to write about and have come to the conclusion that I am an expert in one thing and one thing only… being a mom.

This doesn't mean that I know everything there is to know about parenting or being a housewife, it simply means that this is what I do every day. It's my "job" if you will, and I'm sure everyone likes to think they are an expert at their job.

The question I pose and often ask myself is… are the rewards of being a full time mom greater than the struggles? I can't give a definite answer to this question. Although I love my kids more than I can express, there are days when I would like nothing more than to put a muzzle on them both, lock them in their rooms and go shopping, or perhaps have a relaxing pedicure!

Some days I can't believe how "perfect" my girls are, and I can't get enough of them. On those days I feel like the sacrifice of a two income household, having all of the wants in life, and the pleasure of adult conversation is all worth it. But then there are the bad days...