July 2009

There comes a point in life where everyone has to learn to stand on their own. Making the decision doesn't come easy, nor should it. There are often tears involved, followed by anger and a plethora of other emotions. However, through the trying times, growth occurs. You are able to spread your wings, transforming into the person you were meant to be.

One thing I've learned in life is that you shouldn't let people hold you back. You shouldn't be forced to crawl through life, when you know that you were born to run. Try as you might to make the old way of doing things work, sometimes it just won't. After five years of marriage, and two beautiful kids, I have an announcement to make...

The little one is standing on her own! She is trying to spread her wings and fly, but for right now, she is just falling out of the nest and landing on the ground in a heap. There have been tears shed as she crashes on the hardwood floor, but each time she falls, she learns what not to do next time.

In no time, she will take one more step toward transforming into a thriving, self-sufficient human being. At this point I will cower in fear. She already likes to come at people in a flurry of teeth and fingernails, and I can only imagine the damage she will do once she's fully mobile.

The following steps are guaranteed to pass your legacy of poor sportsmanship on for generations.

Step 1 – Instill in your child the sense that regardless of physical ability, they by nature are simply superior to all other human beings.

This is best accomplished through a series of compliments like "you owned that kid," "he (or she) ain't got nothin' on you," followed up by a "whoooo" and an emphatic hand motion.

Step 2 – Be sure to correct opposing players in a loud, forceful manner, even when a simple discussion will do.

This is best accomplished by always keeping a rulebook on hand, with pages dog-eared to commonly misunderstood rules. Not only can you point to page 43, section 8b, but then you can throw the manual in a fit of rage, thereby demonstrating the appropriate behavior for your child to mimic.

Step 3 – Heckle opposing players about their skills, or lack thereof, even when you cannot perform the skill in question.

For example, if while playing basketball, the opposing player misses a layup, respond by saying "that was so easy, even my grandmother could make that shot." Follow it with a missed layup of your own, after which you question whether or not the basketball hoop is regulation height.

Step 4 – After a game is completed, be sure to make an underhanded remark.

For example, if you win, tell the opposing player "good game… at least by me," or "maybe next time I won't try so hard."

Just follow these four simple steps, and your kid is sure to be a winner. Remember, you don't even have to try that hard, your kid is always watching, judging, and eager to pick up on your behavior.

If you can't follow the steps, don't worry about it, you and your kids will just always be a losers. Whoooo!

Your wife and kids don't get paid to diagnose your work problems. If they did, then they would probably be your boss! But, leaving work at work is much easier said than done. After all, for those parents who work outside the home, your work family may as well be like a second family, with all of those family quirks included.

First you've got the CEO's of the world, I mean grandma or grandpa. They're sitting in the corner trying to tell you how things were done in 'their day,' and how much easier life would be if you just did it the same way it's always been done.

Then there's the corporate worker in denial… I mean your crazy cousin Cal. He's always talking about how he's going to run away from home, open a tattoo shop, and stick it to his parents. Yet here he is, living in his parent's basement at the age of 28, still collecting an allowance.

And let's not forget about your co-workers, or your siblings. You're forced to share bunk beds (a cube farm) and Timmy wants the top bunk. This wouldn't be so bad, but when you're trying to finish up some last minute reading for school tomorrow, all you can hear is Timmy talking to his annoying girlfriend on the phone.

So as you can see, your work family is just that, a family… and usually a somewhat dysfunctional one. Why should you subject your real family to all the drama? Isn't one set of problems enough for them to deal with?

However, if you keep all of your work family's problems bottled up inside, they're bound to spill out at the most inopportune time. I believe if you apply the following list to your job, it will allow you to not only leave work at work (if you choose to), but talk about work in a more positive light.

1. Share stories (Good and Bad - a little complaining can be good for bonding).
2. Watch your emotions
3. When you are struggling, ask yourself, “How can I enjoy this situation?”
4. Creativity is vital at every job (Otherwise boredom sets in).
5. Trust your gut (Most of the time it will be right).
6. Be weird (We are all a little weird, embrace it and let it out).
7. It’s your responsibility to be happy at work.

I would like to thank Karl at WorkHappyNow.com for the list above (here in its entirety). He's out there spreading the word that you should be happy at work, and if you're not you should make that happen. Also, be sure to stop by dad-blogs for other great 'Fatherhood Friday' blog posts by some great dads.

It seems like all around me kids are crawling out of wombs these days. In honor of all the n00b (new) parents out there, I would like to share two things I've learned about kids, or at least my kids.

Kids aren't breakable!

As I look around the house at the sharp edges of the table, exposed wires, and broken glass bottle on the floor, I can breathe easy, because try, try as I might to screw these little humans up, they seem to bounce back from everything.

After cracking her head on the hardwood floor, the little one only needs to be comforted for a moment, then she is ready to give this whole standing thing another go. After tripping over her two left feet at the park, the three year old only needs a squirt of boo-boo juice (some wound cleanser for kids, not the alcoholic beverage) and a tissue to wipe her tears, and she is good to go.

The human body is an amazing thing, and even when we rough it up a bit, it has the ability to bounce back even stronger than ever.

Kids are breakable!

As I look around the house at the paintings, father's day cards, and crooked smiley faces that sometimes look a bit confused, I can't breathe easy, because try, try as I might not to screw these little humans up, maybe there's something they won't bounce back from.

Kids remember everything. I'm convinced that every time you yell at your kids, they withdraw just a little. Every time you're not there to show support, they withdraw a little more.

So please, just love on your kids, and guard their fragile minds. That's what I'm trying to do, and I hope that if nothing else, when I'm old and grey, they'll remember that I gave it my best, and come over to change my diaper at least once a week.