advice

If people do something that surprises you, it's your fault.

I heard the phrase above a while back, and I just can't seem to get it out of my head. With some very minor changes, the same phrase applies to parenting. If a kid does something that surprises you, it's your own fault. Just to be clear, I'm mainly talking about the unpleasant surprises, like wiping a booger on grandma, streaking in front of company, dating a hoodlum... those types of things.

It's no secret that when a married couple has kids, soon their world revolves around the kids, and the relationship they once had starts to deteriorate. Less and less time is spent focusing on the person that helped you become a family in the first place. Below are seven suggestions that may keep you and your spouse from becoming strangers.

The older I get, the faster time goes by. College seems like it was last week, high school last year, and kindergarten about five years ago. As I type this, my fingers are succumbing to arthritis, my knee is predicting rain tomorrow, and my eyesight is going down the tubes. It's as if life is passing me by, and I don't even realize it.

But it wasn't always this way. As a child I remember when lunchtime was an eternity away, weekends were like a vacation, and one year felt like two. The only thing that came quickly was bedtime.

A powerful thing

Now I see a year in a child's life for what it really is... a powerful and influential period of time. This fact was very evident during a recent trip over the river and through the woods, to Grandma's (and Grandpa's) house.

I saw something today that bothered me. In the increasingly tolerant (or so it seems on the surface) world we live in, the ugly face of intolerance came into the light. People were screaming from the rooftops a message of tolerance, all the while harboring hatred in their heart.

Because we are all flawed humans, from different backgrounds, it's to be expected that from time to time opinions will differ. However, there are a few issues that always end in heated discussion... one of which is the sexual preference of cats. Do boy cats choose to keep the company of other boy cats? Or are boy cats more inclined to be tempted by the seductive tail wag of a female feline? Should two female cats be allowed to raise a kitten?

The words "white space" mean different things to different people. To an artist, it signifies the unmarked areas on a canvas. To a radio broadcaster, it means an open frequency. As a father, it can mean something altogether different.

Recently, I had the privilege of hearing Juliet Funt speak. Even though she doesn't live in a van down by the river, she manages to be an effective motivational speaker. One of the things she talked about that hit home with me was making sure that there is plenty "white space," or unplanned time in your day.