howto

When your child figures out how to get out of his or her crib, what do you do? Do you move them to a toddler bed and give up the cozy confines of a crib? Or do you leave them in their crib, and hope that the novelty of climbing out wears off?

I say leave them in the crib as long as they still fit. The sooner they go to a real bed, the sooner you have to deal with them smearing feces on the wall, messing with the dresser, and coming out of their room.

But couldn't they get hurt climbing out of their crib?

Of course they could! However, my theory is that the first time they climb out will also be their last. So to keep a child in their crib, simply put them back in it. Let me illustrate...

There are times in my life as a dad that I just want to relax. I want to catch up on all the latest sporting news, contemplate the deep meaningful things in my life (like where does toe-jam come from), and let my mind drift away.

However, I don't want to neglect my kids, because then I'd be a terrible parent. My children would wind up in therapy 20 years down the road talking about how daddy never loved them, and I can't live with that on my conscience.

Luckily, I've stumbled upon 5 simple parenting hacks (or quick, inelegant solutions) especially for dads.

After certain events, your kids develop a way of thinking that is different than what you're trying to impart upon them. Perhaps they have been away at summer camp and have come back ready to challenge your authority. Or maybe they've been exposed to the neighborhood cult and drank some of the Kool-Aid. Whatever the case may be, you have to deprogram the child, and return him or her to their previous state.

Kids love DVDs. They love grabbing the cases, ripping the discs out with their scrawny fingers, and performing unspeakable acts. They lay the discs face down the table. They put their grubby fingers on them, and are generally quite abusive toward the poor DVDs. Very soon the discs no longer play correctly.

Fear not! Most, if not all of your DVDs are easily backed up to your computer with some free software. This is probably old news for some of you, but for a lot of people the process can be very confusing and time consuming. For that reason, I've put together a DVD backup tutorial for parents... especially the parents of toddlers, who find themselves reading at an elementary level again.