Dad 1, Daughter 0

Submitted by scott

Bedtime started of pretty well. The three year old put her jammies on without resistance, brushed her teeth and actually didn't swallow all the toothpaste, then hopped right into bed. We read a story and then she curled up under her covers. She looked ready for a night of sleep to overcome her. Or so I thought.

After telling her that she needed to stay in her room and go to sleep, or suffer the consequences (this is her daily reminder, which she needs) all was well. About 15 minutes later, into the living room wanders a dejected looking child with one simple request. She just wanted to give mommy and daddy hugs.

She thought she had us fooled. I imagine that her inner monologue went something like this:

I'm so smart, I'm so smart, I can do what I want to
I'm so smart, I'm so smart, I can do what I want to
I'm so smart, I'm so smart, I can do what I want to

Well, probably not exactly like that, but you get the point. She figured there was no way that mommy and daddy could with good conscience reject the tender hugs of a child. She was almost right, but she has a fatal flaw… her execution is terrible.

From the minute she stepped foot outside of her door, the whole thing reeked of a scheme. Her eyes were darting back and forth, looking for something to sneak back in her room. She delivered her line perfectly, puppy dog eyes and all, but the delivery was too fast. Before I knew it she had moved on from giving hugs to acting like a nervous teenager whose friend had convinced him to steal a bag of Doritos from the Qwik-E-Mart. She snatched up some stray stickers and tried to retreat to her room.

However, I was too quick. My catlike reflexes kicked in and I was on her in no time. I retrieved the stickers and the appropriate punishment was handed down. She didn't make a peep the rest of the night.

I score this one Dad 1, Daughter 0

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