Kids are the ultimate trolls. Unfortunately, I don’t mean the mythical beings rooted in Norse mythology. If that were the case, at least they could be dealt with accordingly, like drawing them out into the sunlight and rendering them harmless. However, they are the type of troll that speaks or acts with the primary intent of provoking an emotional response or otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.
This may seem harsh, but I’m not just talking about my kids... it’s all kids, every last one of them. Here are just a few reasons why:
- They claim they are ready to be washed and rinsed at bath time. Upon approaching the bathtub, you find no less than 3 things you cannot unsee.
- If the kid is your child’s playmate, he or she always come a knockin’ just as you sit down for a relaxing family dinner.
- After being potty trained for months, even years, they inform you that somehow they were able to pee on the bathroom floor, when the toilet is no more than 12 inches away.
- Kids appear cute and cuddly, until you pick them up to give them a hug, at which time they 1) gain the strength of ten men, and 2) the thrashing skills of a crocodile all while taunting you with chants of “u mad bro?”
- When you give commands like “please clean up your room in 10 minutes,” and follow it up approximately 8 minutes later with “have you started cleaning up your room?”, they are immediately able to tell you it’s only been 8 minutes without looking at a clock.
So how do you defeat the trolls? As the internet adage goes, don’t feed the trolls. It’s that simple. If you don’t feed the trolls, they will go away. Don’t let them provoke that emotional response.
Are your kids trolls? Let me know in the comments what they’ve done to troll you.