Fists Of Fury

Submitted by scott

Spring has sprung, there are signs of life everywhere, and times couldn’t be better. The kids are able to play outside, pick flowers, and dig for worms until they are exhausted. Birds are singing, and animals are frolicking. All is well in the world, but the drums of war are beating ever so quietly in the distance.

It starts out small. Special K decides that she is the keeper of the swingset ladder, and no one shall pass without her permission... bum bum bum bum, bum bum bum bum... the drums grow louder.

The Silent Night

Submitted by scott

In a city there once live a banshee,
Of screaming and pouting she fancied.

All day she decided to pester,
Which caused many tempers to fester.

In her behavior was found no delight,
And she caused her poor sister much fright.

Til one day enough was enough,
Her father did say, quite gruff...

“Unless you can turn the volume down,
Please refrain from coming around.”

“That racket causes much dismay,
I think I will go buy some hay... by the bay... I just may... someday.”

Disciplining Other People’s Kids, At Your House, With Their Parents Around

Submitted by scott

As a parent, uncomfortable situations arise from time to time. For me it’s been anything from Princess P refusing to behave at church, to Special K just being her unruly self and throwing anything she can get her hands on.

Then there are the times when I’m out and about town and see a child throwing a fit, while the parents do nothing... not even contain the situation. Those moments are great for showing your kids how not to act in public.

Reversing The Door Locks

Submitted by scott

There comes a time in a child's life where they know exactly what is expected of them, yet seem unable to be corrected by such things as the naughty chair. The kids are still a bit too young and shouldn’t be expected to sit still for very long.

Around this age, the kids are finally tall enough to reach the door handle and escape from their dungeon room if it is being used as the ‘time out’ spot. So what to do? You could smack their hand, but I don’t want to go down the ‘you hit your kids’ road right now. How about reversing the door locks? That sounds humane!

The Prince Was A Frog

Submitted by scott

Once upon a summer’s eve (not the feminine spray) a young, very young, prince from a distant land came calling. He spoke of wonders and spectacles that existed in his kingdom. The princess was intrigued, and deemed the arduous journey across the fence a more worthy quest than simply traipsing around her kingdom with her sister.

So off she went. At first the prince showed her the wonders of his kingdom. There was a grand observation deck, a beach, and exquisite treats. All was well, until the queen returned home from her daily duties.

Max Spaniel: Funny Lunch and Firehouse! Giveaway

Submitted by scott

It’s no secret around the Simple household that I’m not too fond of dogs and cats. Not the animals themselves so much, but the thought of owning them, and spending my days with itchy eyes and a runny nose. I much prefer to read about them in books, which works out well because I was recently able to check out the kids books Max Spaniel: Funny Lunch, and Firehouse!