I've finally figured it out. Children speak in tweets!
For those few of you still not in the know, through the website twitter.com, you are able to broadcast messages 140 characters at a time. This is great for short bursts of information, or for giving updates on what you're currently doing.
What I didn't realize is that toddlers, and even kids of all ages have been "tweeting" for years. Just like with twitter, there is a 140 character limit imposed on the communications a child has with their parents. Take the following conversation for example:
Father: How was school today? Did you learn anything new?
Child: I don't have to tell you!
Father: You sure do have to tell me. I pay for that school, and if you're not learning, you're not going!
Child: Fine! We learned about colors!
Father: What did you learn about colors?
Child: Blue, purple, yellow.
Father: Umm, okay??
You can glean two things from the exchange above. First, it appears as though the father also speaks 140 characters at a time. Second, instead of using their allotted characters to spread information, the goal of the child is to withhold information so as to confuse the father (me). This is perhaps the least effective method of parent-child communication.
As I ponder how I could better communicate with my children, I can't help but become more and more frustrated. After all, if you ask my parents, I've been speaking 140 characters at a time for over 20 years now, and old habits die hard. So what's a guy to do? Perhaps my child just needs a lesson in twitter etiquette.