A long time ago, in a galaxy not so far away, there lived a terrible beast. The creature was tall and sinewy, wielding razor sharp claws. It had the agility of a spider monkey, but the stealth of a drunken rhinoceros. The fiend was blessed with piercing blue eyes and silky hair, no doubt a result of fine breeding… but perhaps the most notable features were its incredibly thick, seemingly impenetrable skull, and constant defensive stance. The creature was the American Inobut (pronounced eye-know-butt).
These creatures often lurked in the shadows, and tried to detach themselves from their parents at a relatively young age. However, they possessed an insatiable appetite, and could be found attempting to suck the teat dry nearly every waking hour.
Over time, the American Inobut could be trained to complete rudimentary tasks. They could carry items from one area to another, communicate by scratching lines in the dirt, and even had some amount of vocalization.
Unfortunately, when attempting to teach the Inobut more sophisticated tasks, or perhaps just more efficient ways of completing the rudimentary tasks, the Inobut would bare it’s teeth and proceed to repeatedly bang it’s head on the nearest object… often its parent or elder.
When the Inobut was in this state, the best course of action was near inaction. Speaking in low tones had no effect. Appealing to their limited sense of reason had no effect. Yelling had no effect. Repeated beatings had no effect. A soothing touch had no effect. The only remedy was what scientists of the day called “the hard way.” Given a long enough period of time, and repeated doses, “the hard way” would eventually placate the beast.
Despite scientists believing that the monster has gone extinct, legend has it that the beast can still be found today.