Why You Suck As A Parent

Submitted by scott

Has there been a time in your life when you weren't worthless? Even if you answered yes, you probably still suck as a parent, and here's why. First off, most of you are humans, and by very nature, we humans hoover it up pretty badly. Also, having a kid is a big life change, and people resist change, therefore people suck.

Humans Suck

You can tell me that people are generally good, and have an innate propensity to do good, however, I'm not buying it. People, if given the option, will choose the most selfish option, which often takes them down the path of least resistance. That's not to say that there aren't ways of dealing with this evil side of human nature, but underneath it all, the suckiness is still there.

How does this translate to parenthood? It means that you choose to be a bad parent. Given the option of helping your child with his or her homework, or catching up on your TV shows, you'll plop in front of the tube and relax. If asked to play hide and seek, your kid will always go hide, and you'll count to 1000, all because humans suck.

Changes Suck

You are resistant to change, and having a child is a huge change, therefore you suck as a parent. All of the sudden you have to give away your pet boa constrictor, put a lid on the rat poison, and get interrupted every time you try to take a nap. These are all huge changes, and changes suck (or at least dealing with them does).

There's Hope!

The fact that you're reading this means that you're out on the Internet reading about parenting. That means you're trying to fight the suckiness! You're bucking the trend and trying to better yourself and your children. It's amazing how kids bring out the desire in their parents to live better, more fullfilling lives. Don't lose that desire.

All Hope Is Lost

Before getting all rainbows and butterflies, I must get back to reality. There are still plenty of reasons why you suck as a parent, but for now I'll save the rest for another time.

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